Just Another Day Closer

The tension seems to be rising. The harder I try, the less successful I seem to be. My job is no fun anymore. I don't find myself loving any part of my job. Yet I'm so close to the end. I can't quit now. I have to finish something. I'm tired of hearing "you never finish anything you start." I just thought that "having fun fun with the last few issues" meant that my boss would let me me do a few reviews (that I haven't gotten to do all year). Not getting so angry at things not going perfectly. We almost done! Take a fucking chill-pill, smoke a fucking blunt, just pull the stick out of your ass and QUIT BEING SO GOD DAMNED EMO! You're not going to be a failure if you give a little praise once in a while. I promise. In fact, I'm certain that your staff will be happier, and more willing to work with you, if tell them they're doing a good job once in a while.

The negativity needs to stop. It's cramping my creativity. How is one supposed to be enthusiastic and have faith in their work when their boss doesn't either? Swallow that pill.

This is just another bullet on my reasons I need May Day list. Until then, I'll keep coping with coffee, benzos, cigarettes, herbs and lithium. At least they won't tell me I suck after a hard day's work.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On a happier note, I wrote a new song last night. I have no idea why I wrote it, or what, or who, it's about. I think I might have written it about the things I want, and know I can't have, but still take the chances anyway. Here are the Lyrics:

Beautiful Stranger

(Chorus)

Beautiful stranger, Such incriminating danger.
Sees my underlying failures, beautiful stranger.

(Verse 1)

I know that you can take me there,
Take me far away, far away from here.
Beautiful stranger, I'm so ready for your danger.

Let's just hit the road tomorrow,
There is nothing keeping me right here.
We'll just drive to the otherside,
and know that we have nothing to fear.

(*Chorus)

(Verse 2)

You know I like to play with fire,
It only fuels my creeping desires.
Someday, I'll get tired of getting burned,
But right now you just inspire.

Beautiful stranger, you will never be my lover.
Take me, just don't break me.
Inspire me, then set me free.

(*Chorus x2)

Enjoy!
One thing I have learned is that a song will come together in a few hours, but pieces that sit scrambled on napkins just aren't meant to be.

Transition Needed

I'm in need of a change. A change of pace, a change of scenery, a change of direction. I just need a direction. Something to look forward too. I'm about to graduate and I plan on taking a year off. Where do go from here? What's next? There's not much I can do with an associates degree. I guess I'm going to write a book, but then what.

One day at a time I guess.

The future is all mine to behold, but what am I to do with it. Will I ever escape this mess of a town. I guess it's only what I make it.

This last term at LBCC will not go fast enough. May Day is my much needed escape, but will I make that far, without going crazy? Time will only tell. Maybe it will all change after a hot bath and a good book before bed tonight.

The Countdown continues...

Yesterday I went out to the Old Peak Revival spot and helped clear away some camp space. We set it up for Camp Neon, Happy Town, and "R" Camp. The signs are pretty much ready. I'm still scared for the drivers too and from the spot. It's a one-lane road on the edge of a cliff. Hopefully there won't be any dumb drunk drivers.

The place looks a lot better now that it's been plowed. I don't get chewed up by blackberry brambles just walking across the field anymore. Yay!

I need a good weekend in the woods with good people. Just the few hours I spent out there yesterday was rejuvenating. A whole weekend out there will be much needed, and very fulfilling. The rejuvenation is much needed; like an energy boost to finish out the school year on; something to tide me over until I leave for the festival tour the weekend after graduation.

More to come, but not until after May Day, unless something exciting happens between now and then. Peace 'til then.

Learning to Love Again

Learning to love again can be rougher than the most raging rapids on a river. Every promise you believe in is a giant leap of faith. Sometimes we just miss that ledge and don't grab on when we're supposed to. Sometimes we take a leap of faith and get blown off the cliff, even when we land it.

The best things in life aren't handed to you. Sometimes they're hidden right in front of you for years and you never notice. You have to be patient. You have to shut the fuck up and listen sometimes. Mostly, you gotta just stand your ground. Stand your ground and don't let the phonies stear you wrong.

What if the first person you loved was the last. Would we ever learn to appreciate it. What if you gave someone a chance that you never really thought would work, and found yourself scared to let them in. Is it possible that we push away the things we know we need and invite pain without realizing that's what we're doing. Without pain, would we still need love?

The Countdown to Festival Season

Festival Season is nearly here! In six more days I will waking up and packing my camping gear for, yet again, another season of festivals. In past years it's just been the camping gear and the booze that has to go into the rig, but this year I'm part of the entertainment, and there's music equipment to worry about.

But fear not, my Friend, because May Day is surreal threshold from the winter blues, to the summer events that keep us on our toes. May Day is an old Pagan tradition, a celebration of the life, and rebirth of the fertile season Spring. Braiding the May Pole ribbons in a dance with families of the community is thought to bring health and fertility to those who participate. Each person has their own reason for dancing around the May Pole. Some couples are trying to get pregnant, or they do it for the health of their own young children, some even have hopes of other health; such as cancer of any type.

This festival will mark a huge forward motion in my life. Not only is it the beginning of festival season, but this season I'm going to go experience it. Just me and my girls. The old dusty trail will lead us to the Rainbow Gathering in New Mexico to start off our journey... just four days after I graduate with my associates in journalism. To mark my victory, a comrad and myself will be writing a book, each, from our different perspectives. After the Rainbow Gathering there is no itinerary. We go where the road will lead... to the next festival.

After telling you this exciting news my friend, I feel I will have to keep this blog updated to keep you posted on the adventure. For those of you who cannot hitch hike along, I owe it to you to keep you posted. --- ~ Coming soon; May Day Fest '09 will be posted with photos on May 4, 2009!

Photo Critique #1

The angle on this shot is great because the photographer made sure to angle the microphone out his face. There is a sense of emotion captured in the musician's face, though I'm not sure what instrument he's playing, because I can't see it. The photo almost feels crowded, but there is no waste of space.

Pool at The Meet 'n Place

Gary "Yoda" Yodder takes a shot during the semi-finals of the Thursday night pool league, at the Meet 'n Place Tavern in Philomath. The Meet 'n Place is number one in the Corvallis City League. Harrison Bar and Grill takes second going into the finals, and are the newest addition to the Corvallis City League. This will be The Meet 'n Place's fourth year in a row if they win the finals, but Harrison is only three games behind.

Introduction to the Neon Gypsies

In June of 2008, I ran sound for the Corvallis Music History Project that featured over 40 bands based out of Corvallis in the last 50 years. I ran sound for 20 bands that day, in about 12 hours. During tear down I met Amber Walker, and we talked about our feats learning to play new instruments. I mentioned that was learning bass. She got excited and mentioned that she was learning guitar and starting a band with two other ladies that were playing drums and keys, and they were looking for a bass player. The band name was the Neon Gypsies. This definitely sounded like my scene.
We had our first practice and already had two original pieces. Today, we have an original set list of 21 songs and growing everyday. If you happen to catch a show you will find yourself sing our songs the next morning in the shower. We have played over ten shows, and will be playing during sun set at the annual May Day festival this year. Go here to listen to our music.

The first week of Spring term 2009

The first week of the term is always challenging as students get back into the swing of studying, and organizing classes. That doesn't seem to stop teachers from assigning homework. Here, students study in the library on the third day of term. The library recently finished their remodeling and expansion in Spring '08.